Thursday, June 29th
We arrived home today to find that the house has been further secured, making it a veritable fortress, putting us right up there in the ranks of the paranoid majority of South African whites. The best part is, though, that the
“reinforced” steel bars they put on the doors can be easily be bent and most likely ripped from the entry way with one swift kick. Quality. The security industry must be making an absolute killing in this country.
As one drives thru any modest or ‘not’ shanty town neighborhood in the area we are in, one will inevitably been visually bombarded with countless security and armed response company advertisements and propaganda. The most prominent is CHUB. Personally I would never hire a company to ensure my family’s welfare with a name like CHUB. And it just wouldn’t, in my eyes, inspire fear in the hearts of potential criminals. If I were a thief, and I heard my accomplice shout, “Watch out! There’s a CHUB after you!”, I would most likely laugh or picture an indecent scenario.
Then there is SHOGUN ARMED RESPONSE, which is probably my personal favorite due to the ads they have everywhere portraying an ancient Japanese warrior in full attack attire wielding an enormous saber. I always imagine a terrified family banging a gigantic gong in the middle of their house as intruders merge upon them, only to find that minutes later (with ancient sounding Asian music playing from somewhere in the background) an army of samurai warriors converges upon the house making all those good Kung Fu movie noises. Then the samurai leader challenges the evil doers to a brawl, his mouth moving for a good 45 seconds, only to spit out “I chaRRenge you to deaf you razy thief!”. It only gets better from here, and I usually start smiling and drifting off to my happy place. Anyway…
Personally, I’m thinking of starting my own security company here, and I’ll make it much more interesting than random surprise CHUBS or marauding Samurais. Moats. Lots of moats everywhere. In these moats I will put alligators, eels, leeches and bullfrogs. Not just any bullfrogs but those obviously dangerous South African bullfrogs that warrant sign postage in some places. These bullfrogs will lure in small children who will then be taken out by the alligators. The remains will act as a deterrent to potential wrong doers. Around the moat will lurch naked mole rats with ‘lasers’ fastened to their backs, these to will attract attention. Above each house will be a Hindenburg sized blimp with a intricate video monitoring system linked to the house via many fiber optic cables.
Ok…I think I’m done now, I should probably stop before this goes too far and you all think I’m some sort of freak.
Thursday, June 29, 2006
Hypothermia and its effects upon Caucasians
Wednesday, June 28th
For all intensive purposes, I am done with my training here in South Africa. Two nights ago I completed the last step in my validation course, by taking a check ride in an antiquated, underpowered Piper Seneca, an airplane I have never flown before. Ed and I were selected to go first, as I mentioned on Monday night, and Ed requested to precede me on the ride. This seemed like a great idea for the obvious reasons, e.g.: I get to see what fates (in the form of engine failures, gear/flap problems and instrument approaches) are about to be bestowed upon me, so I readily obliged.
Winter in South Africa, more precisely in the Johannesburg area, is much like winter in lets say… El Paso- relatively warm at day, 50-60’s, and sometimes cold at night, 30-40’s. It most obviously swings to further extremes when abnormal weather patterns roll thru, like the one that did on Monday morning.
Airplanes, especially larger, i.e. bigger than 1 seat, usually have heaters of some sort. In turbine powered aircraft its usually from hot compressed air sucked off the engines before fuel is added. In piston powered aircraft its likely from little midgets contained in a box in the rear who continuously light matches which in turn generate heat. Ok, most don’t have this system, many airplanes have many different systems, and a few, like the one we took out on Monday night, have none at all, not even match igniting midgets.
My first clue something was awry should have been when the examiner (who coincidently uses this airplane on a regular basis) arrived with a wider assortment of warmer clothes than lets say, Jesse did. Hmm. Then there was the observing flight instructor who also came equipped with a more diverse selection of cold weather apparel. Hmm. No worries, they are South African wimps and its cold outside.
Approximately 3 minutes after Ed commenced taxi to the departure runway here at Midrand airport, I asked the examiner if he wouldn’t mind turning on the heat, and to which, I got a Dr. Evil like giggle. At this point I was already shivering, and I had a long ways to go, about 3 hours 56 minutes and 47 seconds, to be precise. Continuous involuntary muscle spasms were then followed by an involuntarily full bladder that my body was expending precious shakes and shimmies to heat up. I was producing aircraft contained turbulence for the mighty Piper Seneca as we ripped thru the 18 degree Fahrenheit night sky, due to my palsy-ish, seizure like shivering and my increasingly animated pee-pee dance (about the only type of dancing I’m good at, besides the Electric slide…ok, I didn’t just say that). Yes, it was a good night, and we still had 3 hours 29 minutes and 16 seconds of fun left. YES.
Finally we landed at Johannesburg International Airport where the examiner planned to do a crew change so that I may occupy the pilot’s seat (as I had been just sitting in the back up until this point). Once that airplane came to a stop, engines still running, on the taxi way, not too far from the international terminal and arrival runway I was OUT the door and relieving myself quite satisfyingly on the pavement to the horror of the remaining passengers on board. They could have told me I was going to be deported for it and I wouldn’t have cared, at least I didn’t have to take a leak anymore.
Then came my turn. Its hard to concentrate on flying when you cannot feel your lower legs and your hands no longer function and you still look like an idiot overtaken by an epileptic episode. Yep, that’s me! Needless to say it wasn’t the best ride of my life but all I cared about was getting it done…FAST, so that I may begin the process of hypothermia negation. The examiner also felt the need to demonstrate the incredible lighting system that Joberg’s runways have. They say you can see the Great Wall of China from space, I’m not sure I believe that. I do believe you can see the approach lights for RWY 03R at Joberg from Jupiter, though. The best part was he asked for their application on one of my single engine landings, as I was only 150 feet above the ground and still shaking-shivering. I basically crashed, then flew, then crashed, then flew, then crashed, then flew, then crashed, then flew…I porpoised down the runway quite well, something I haven’t done in a good 6 years, but I found it funny. I was thinking…“You dip-shit! Good call with the lights bud! HA! I hope you have to go to the chiropractor after this, maybe that will teach ya…oh…maybe this is a bit bad…oh…that one kinda hurt…hmm…he looks kinda scared…he he he”. And so I got about 153 landings out of one approach, a new personal record beating out the previous of 139. Sometimes my own piloting skills amaze me.
In conclusion, to be a pilot in South Africa, one is not necessarily eliminated from candidacy just for : 1.) Incontinence 2.) Epilepsy 3.) No concept of landing 4.) Wishing harm upon others 5.) When wished for harm is bestowed, giggling like a 6 year old German girl. I PASSED. Now I wait for paperwork and the OK to head to the Sandbox! Goodnight.
For all intensive purposes, I am done with my training here in South Africa. Two nights ago I completed the last step in my validation course, by taking a check ride in an antiquated, underpowered Piper Seneca, an airplane I have never flown before. Ed and I were selected to go first, as I mentioned on Monday night, and Ed requested to precede me on the ride. This seemed like a great idea for the obvious reasons, e.g.: I get to see what fates (in the form of engine failures, gear/flap problems and instrument approaches) are about to be bestowed upon me, so I readily obliged.
Winter in South Africa, more precisely in the Johannesburg area, is much like winter in lets say… El Paso- relatively warm at day, 50-60’s, and sometimes cold at night, 30-40’s. It most obviously swings to further extremes when abnormal weather patterns roll thru, like the one that did on Monday morning.
Airplanes, especially larger, i.e. bigger than 1 seat, usually have heaters of some sort. In turbine powered aircraft its usually from hot compressed air sucked off the engines before fuel is added. In piston powered aircraft its likely from little midgets contained in a box in the rear who continuously light matches which in turn generate heat. Ok, most don’t have this system, many airplanes have many different systems, and a few, like the one we took out on Monday night, have none at all, not even match igniting midgets.
My first clue something was awry should have been when the examiner (who coincidently uses this airplane on a regular basis) arrived with a wider assortment of warmer clothes than lets say, Jesse did. Hmm. Then there was the observing flight instructor who also came equipped with a more diverse selection of cold weather apparel. Hmm. No worries, they are South African wimps and its cold outside.
Approximately 3 minutes after Ed commenced taxi to the departure runway here at Midrand airport, I asked the examiner if he wouldn’t mind turning on the heat, and to which, I got a Dr. Evil like giggle. At this point I was already shivering, and I had a long ways to go, about 3 hours 56 minutes and 47 seconds, to be precise. Continuous involuntary muscle spasms were then followed by an involuntarily full bladder that my body was expending precious shakes and shimmies to heat up. I was producing aircraft contained turbulence for the mighty Piper Seneca as we ripped thru the 18 degree Fahrenheit night sky, due to my palsy-ish, seizure like shivering and my increasingly animated pee-pee dance (about the only type of dancing I’m good at, besides the Electric slide…ok, I didn’t just say that). Yes, it was a good night, and we still had 3 hours 29 minutes and 16 seconds of fun left. YES.
Finally we landed at Johannesburg International Airport where the examiner planned to do a crew change so that I may occupy the pilot’s seat (as I had been just sitting in the back up until this point). Once that airplane came to a stop, engines still running, on the taxi way, not too far from the international terminal and arrival runway I was OUT the door and relieving myself quite satisfyingly on the pavement to the horror of the remaining passengers on board. They could have told me I was going to be deported for it and I wouldn’t have cared, at least I didn’t have to take a leak anymore.
Then came my turn. Its hard to concentrate on flying when you cannot feel your lower legs and your hands no longer function and you still look like an idiot overtaken by an epileptic episode. Yep, that’s me! Needless to say it wasn’t the best ride of my life but all I cared about was getting it done…FAST, so that I may begin the process of hypothermia negation. The examiner also felt the need to demonstrate the incredible lighting system that Joberg’s runways have. They say you can see the Great Wall of China from space, I’m not sure I believe that. I do believe you can see the approach lights for RWY 03R at Joberg from Jupiter, though. The best part was he asked for their application on one of my single engine landings, as I was only 150 feet above the ground and still shaking-shivering. I basically crashed, then flew, then crashed, then flew, then crashed, then flew, then crashed, then flew…I porpoised down the runway quite well, something I haven’t done in a good 6 years, but I found it funny. I was thinking…“You dip-shit! Good call with the lights bud! HA! I hope you have to go to the chiropractor after this, maybe that will teach ya…oh…maybe this is a bit bad…oh…that one kinda hurt…hmm…he looks kinda scared…he he he”. And so I got about 153 landings out of one approach, a new personal record beating out the previous of 139. Sometimes my own piloting skills amaze me.
In conclusion, to be a pilot in South Africa, one is not necessarily eliminated from candidacy just for : 1.) Incontinence 2.) Epilepsy 3.) No concept of landing 4.) Wishing harm upon others 5.) When wished for harm is bestowed, giggling like a 6 year old German girl. I PASSED. Now I wait for paperwork and the OK to head to the Sandbox! Goodnight.
Sunday, June 25, 2006
Dogs, Ponies and Lions
Saturday, June 24th
At the risk of sounding queer, I’ve got to say that today, I feel fat. Wow. No exercise + no nicotine + hours spent lying around reading manuals + boredom eating= Jesse feels fat. I think its quite justified. I feel like I do nothing more than sleep, eat and read, with a random car ride mixed in here or there usually for the purpose of getting a beer or two. I sincerely hope that this is not a precursor of what’s to come, otherwise the next time you all see me I’ll be a rotund deuce and a half.
The past week was by no means an exceptional show of excitement, but had its definite highlights. Last Saturday the four of us took an outing to Pilanesberg National Park, up along the Botswana border. It was up in the high, arid, scrub-lands bordering some 8 to 9000 ft. mountains, quite reminiscent of southwestern New Mexico, eastern Arizona or even the area around Santa Fe (Laura!). Despite our better judgment we took the Hyundai Getz, that super manly, chick magnet of a car, off-roading into the African grasslands. We looked quite incongruous yet again, 4 guys in a tiny car, being passed on dirt roads by curious onlookers, comfortably lounging in Landrovers and I swear I could hear the zebras laughing. We nervously joked about whether the park gate guards placed wagers on whether the 4 idiots in the tin can would make it out alive.
While driving around the park for about 5 hours or so we spotted most of the renowned African animals everyone knows…hippos, rhinos, zebras, sparrows, chickadees, giraffes, waterbucks, and wildebeests along with…various monkeys, baboons, gazelle, and the rare twizzle-horned pixie dust eater that Bryce claims was nearing extinction. Bet you forgot about them, huh?
The drive and park were cool experiences, but I would have much preferred a hiking tour of the area for it seemed like that SUV commercial where the two lazy bastards drive up to the edge of the Grand Canyon, roll down the window, snap a picture and say “OK, been there done that” and leave. Yeah, if it weren’t for the numerous STAY IN YOUR CAR OR YOU WILL BE EATEN IMMEDIATELY signs or the INSTANT DEATH AWAITS OUTSIDE YOUR FLIMSY CAR WINDOW signs or the HAVE ANY FAMILY MEMBERS YOU’D LIKE TO EXTERMINATE? PUSH THEM OUT THE CAR HERE signs, or my personal favorite, the DOES THE THOUGHT OF EVOLVING INTO A LION TURD APPEAL TO YOU? NO. THEN STAY IN YOUR CAR DUMBASS signs posted everywhere, I would have surely gotten out and done some exploring. But such was not the case, so I resigned myself to the uncomfortable back seat of the Getz with an occasional jaunt to the roof of the car when wildlife was spotted. The only disappointment was that we did not see any elephants or lions, the two big names we hoped to cross of the list. All in all it was a great experience and I’m hoping it was a bit of a warm-up for another real safari in Tanzania or Kenya, or the like, in my future. I did realize I need a new digital camera as well, most shots I got were of large animals’ back legs kicked up in the air, or of nothing at all because of the horrendous time lapse between when you press the shutter button and when it actually reacts. I was left with quite a few “this shot? This is where a hippo was. Cool huh? Yeah I know its only grass. There was a hippo there, I swear. Yes I know hippos don’t run faster than 1.5 mph. Leave me alone.” pictures. But I salvaged a few as well.
The other entertaining thing we did this week was heading to a lion park about an hour west of Pretoria. Now that was great. Once again you could either take a organized tour thru it or do a self tour. Once again we chose the Hyundai self tour. It was amazing, you could drive right up next to these humungous cats, and they pretended like you didn’t even exist. Talk about awe inspiring and majestic animals. They behaved just like big housecats, lounging around, lazy, stretching here and there, acting annoyed when you ran over their tail and blared the horn in their face while laughing and throwing cigarette butts out the window, so like I said, just like big housecats.
The greatest part of that trip, though, was when we got to play with the lion cubs. Not to use the same analogy again, but they were just like 50 lb. kittens, playful and mischievous, yet probably capable to take you down if they really wanted. See pics below...
Bryce had one latch onto his stomach, leaving a huge bruised bite mark as I laughed and took pictures, and Ed got hit by a threesome which ended up making him bleed. I was a bit more fortunate but some of my clothes ended up casualties when I wrestled a few cubs at once. If you turned your back to any of them it was only a matter of seconds before you ended up with a 50lb fur-ball clinging to your back. Yep, I’m ready for the real Africa now, if I can survive a lion attack the rest is cake.
Besides that this week was spent in simulators and in class rooms, where we studied up on riveting subjects like dangerous goods (Hazmat) and CRM. While in the dangerous goods class I got a good laugh. The teacher was explaining that poison and live animals, such as dogs, didn’t go well together in a cargo hold (go figure!). Yet every time she said “poison” in her South African accent it sounded like Pony to me (I don’t know how). Questioning and annoyed glances were shot my way when I started giggling like a little girl every time she noted that Dogs and Ponies do not belong together in a cargo bay of an aircraft. Its nice to be easily amused.
Monday, June 19, 2006
some pics from our hyundai safari...
Ever though about taking a 3 cylinder lowriding Hyundai Getz, the gayest of gay cars, into the South African scrub for some wildlife viewing? We did. Im just glad it wasnt gray and that no male rhino found it attractive. That would have been ugly.
speaking of rhinos, heres a white one that was with its baby right next to us...
One of many zebras we spooked when I sat on top of the roof to take a picture...
a crazy baboon picking his/her feet...
Another baboon having a contemplative moment...
Two Giraffes that were close when I went to take the picture, but...oh...MEMORY CARD FULL...Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
I swear this isnt at Busch Gardens...this is for real, it was too cool...
Finally, a lovely scenic shot of a lake filled with hippos and crocs...
It was pretty cool, I'll write more later about it...see ya!
speaking of rhinos, heres a white one that was with its baby right next to us...
One of many zebras we spooked when I sat on top of the roof to take a picture...
a crazy baboon picking his/her feet...
Another baboon having a contemplative moment...
Two Giraffes that were close when I went to take the picture, but...oh...MEMORY CARD FULL...Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
I swear this isnt at Busch Gardens...this is for real, it was too cool...
Finally, a lovely scenic shot of a lake filled with hippos and crocs...
It was pretty cool, I'll write more later about it...see ya!
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Thursday, June 15th
Tonight, we celebrate. We are done with the tedious and stale rules and regulations concerning South African airspace. With any luck I can brain dump them tonight with some fine amber colored, bubbly, and alcoholic beverage and never worry about them again. Confidence inspiring coming from a pilot, eh? Don’t worry Mom, I’ll at least bring a clean pair of underwear when I fly.
We were scheduled to start the test this morning at 8am, sharp. We did not. The directions given to us were, umm, how do I say this, Shit. By following the directions to the ‘t’, we ended up driving, in 25 minutes time, a perfect circle around the northern suburbs of Johannesburg, ending up precisely across the street from our originating point. Good times. Tension levels were high in the underpowered clown-car that bottomed out over every bump we hit.
We made it finally and I did quite well on the test. One of us, however, and unfortunately, did not, so he was executed promptly. Rough place, poor guy. No, actually he just needs to retest next week. Then if he doesn’t pass they’ll execute him. In his defense the wording of the questions was confusing, the laws ambiguous enough already, and many questions we had never been briefed on before. See example below;
The following must be read in a South African accent, much like a British accent, but a bit goofier.
Example: It being a Tuesday, and whilst flying a flight level higher than FL110, but lower than FL140, and not not FL120, therefore possibly and most likely ruling out for all intensive purposes FL130, what direction of flight would you most likely not be flying if you were not flying another, whilst wearing black shoes? P.S., not withstanding any previous notions or emotions, chap, your favorite color is mauve, if and only if, the flight visibility is greater than 1nm.
In the meantime, beer is very much overdue…wow, Steamworks sounds so good right now.
From here we move on to more operationally pertinent things…matters that when compared to what we have been studying seem almost exciting. Yeah, that wont last long. On Monday we have only ½ a day of class, and the rest I believe is going to be spent wrestling lion cubs, honest. There is a park not too far down the road that they actually allow you to play with lion cubs. Bryce and I have already begun the search for catnip in local businesses, so that we may fill up Ed’s pockets before the trip, therefore making things a bit more amusing, for he and I at least. Should make for some good pictures. Sunday may be spent at Pilansburg National Park as well, not too far from the Botswana border, where most of the famous big African animals can be seen from the back of a Landrover. I will take lots of shots, I promise.
Oh, random thought, but some South African terminology for you all:
Braai ( like brian minus the ‘an’) ----grill. Note: can get confusing if you have a friend named Brian that you would like to invite over for grilling, therefore get rid of all friends named Brian. Sorry Patterson.
Robot ---- traffic light…kinda excited me the first time I was told to drive thru 2 robots before turning, kept expecting to see robo-cop standing in the road
Boot---trunk of car
Bonnet---hood of car
Bakkie---pickup truck
Studmuffin---I think you know who!
So, as you can see, things are progressing well and in no time I’ll ship off to the middle of nowhere, Tchad, where the real fun will begin. In the meantime I will try to not write so much about nothing. Goodnight, Jesse
Tonight, we celebrate. We are done with the tedious and stale rules and regulations concerning South African airspace. With any luck I can brain dump them tonight with some fine amber colored, bubbly, and alcoholic beverage and never worry about them again. Confidence inspiring coming from a pilot, eh? Don’t worry Mom, I’ll at least bring a clean pair of underwear when I fly.
We were scheduled to start the test this morning at 8am, sharp. We did not. The directions given to us were, umm, how do I say this, Shit. By following the directions to the ‘t’, we ended up driving, in 25 minutes time, a perfect circle around the northern suburbs of Johannesburg, ending up precisely across the street from our originating point. Good times. Tension levels were high in the underpowered clown-car that bottomed out over every bump we hit.
We made it finally and I did quite well on the test. One of us, however, and unfortunately, did not, so he was executed promptly. Rough place, poor guy. No, actually he just needs to retest next week. Then if he doesn’t pass they’ll execute him. In his defense the wording of the questions was confusing, the laws ambiguous enough already, and many questions we had never been briefed on before. See example below;
The following must be read in a South African accent, much like a British accent, but a bit goofier.
Example: It being a Tuesday, and whilst flying a flight level higher than FL110, but lower than FL140, and not not FL120, therefore possibly and most likely ruling out for all intensive purposes FL130, what direction of flight would you most likely not be flying if you were not flying another, whilst wearing black shoes? P.S., not withstanding any previous notions or emotions, chap, your favorite color is mauve, if and only if, the flight visibility is greater than 1nm.
In the meantime, beer is very much overdue…wow, Steamworks sounds so good right now.
From here we move on to more operationally pertinent things…matters that when compared to what we have been studying seem almost exciting. Yeah, that wont last long. On Monday we have only ½ a day of class, and the rest I believe is going to be spent wrestling lion cubs, honest. There is a park not too far down the road that they actually allow you to play with lion cubs. Bryce and I have already begun the search for catnip in local businesses, so that we may fill up Ed’s pockets before the trip, therefore making things a bit more amusing, for he and I at least. Should make for some good pictures. Sunday may be spent at Pilansburg National Park as well, not too far from the Botswana border, where most of the famous big African animals can be seen from the back of a Landrover. I will take lots of shots, I promise.
Oh, random thought, but some South African terminology for you all:
Braai ( like brian minus the ‘an’) ----grill. Note: can get confusing if you have a friend named Brian that you would like to invite over for grilling, therefore get rid of all friends named Brian. Sorry Patterson.
Robot ---- traffic light…kinda excited me the first time I was told to drive thru 2 robots before turning, kept expecting to see robo-cop standing in the road
Boot---trunk of car
Bonnet---hood of car
Bakkie---pickup truck
Studmuffin---I think you know who!
So, as you can see, things are progressing well and in no time I’ll ship off to the middle of nowhere, Tchad, where the real fun will begin. In the meantime I will try to not write so much about nothing. Goodnight, Jesse
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Studying, confusion and embarassment
Tuesday, June 14th
Today was exceptionally unexceptional again. These days spent making our eyes red reading and rereading Air Law again and again are shit. But it’s a necessary step in the process. Many, actually most of the aircraft that AirServ uses are leased from a South African company, therefore they are registered in this republic. Anytime you operate another country’s aircraft you must at least ‘know’ their regulations, however silly they may be. Two more days before we take the big exam, and when it is done it will mean a huge weight has been lifted.
We did manage to escape the compound today and take a ‘family’ outing to Pretoria, where Bryce needed another Hepatitis shot. The drive there takes one thru seemingly endless burnt grasslands and burning grasslands. It seems everything is alit here, including white people’s paranoia. If you had invested in barbwire, razor wire or steel doors in South Africa in the past 10 years I’m sure you would be a wealthy individual. Its everywhere. The crime is prevalent here, but it almost makes it worse seeing all the wire strewn between EVERY house. It’s depressing actually. The racial tensions and mistrust are still prevalent years after the apartheid crumbled. The gap between the classes is boggling, and again, depressing.
On the return drive to Midrand we took a back road. Coming over a hill we were passed in our 3 cylinder super unbelievably, inconceivably and embarrassingly compact car by a large Land Rover, driven by a black man, but in the back sat an older, richer looking white couple in a suit and elegant dress. As we sped our shitbox down the hill behind them we were enveloped in a cloud of horrible smelling smoke that emanated from our left. As we passed below it the origin of the smoke was evident, a gigantic, sprawling shanty town unrolled before our eyes. It was enormous. Tin, straw, cardboard, reused construction material, all making houses the size of my kitchen in Durango. And the smoke. God the smoke poured out from there, from random fires in the alleys between the shacks and from the fields surrounding the town. And the desperation in the faces, whether I imagined it or not. All of this next to a highway where whites and others, but mainly whites, were driven in huge SUVs to their important meetings or social wine tasting, or who knows where …God, what a contrast, what a world.
An employee at the simulator center picked us all up the other night with the intent of hitting up the nightlife around here. On the drive out she started explaining some of the racial aspects, explaining who is allowed to hang out with who. She stated that whites don’t hang around with blacks for the most part, it’s a faux pas. I asked then how it will look when we all arrive at the club together, being that she is black. I thought she was about to throw me out of the car when we swerved and started slowing. Oh shit. “I am not a nigger, I am mixed, and don’t ever call me black again.” . Wow. The mood quickly changed back to light hearted and my awkwardness faded but the response left me puzzled, and I’m still confused…
Today was exceptionally unexceptional again. These days spent making our eyes red reading and rereading Air Law again and again are shit. But it’s a necessary step in the process. Many, actually most of the aircraft that AirServ uses are leased from a South African company, therefore they are registered in this republic. Anytime you operate another country’s aircraft you must at least ‘know’ their regulations, however silly they may be. Two more days before we take the big exam, and when it is done it will mean a huge weight has been lifted.
We did manage to escape the compound today and take a ‘family’ outing to Pretoria, where Bryce needed another Hepatitis shot. The drive there takes one thru seemingly endless burnt grasslands and burning grasslands. It seems everything is alit here, including white people’s paranoia. If you had invested in barbwire, razor wire or steel doors in South Africa in the past 10 years I’m sure you would be a wealthy individual. Its everywhere. The crime is prevalent here, but it almost makes it worse seeing all the wire strewn between EVERY house. It’s depressing actually. The racial tensions and mistrust are still prevalent years after the apartheid crumbled. The gap between the classes is boggling, and again, depressing.
On the return drive to Midrand we took a back road. Coming over a hill we were passed in our 3 cylinder super unbelievably, inconceivably and embarrassingly compact car by a large Land Rover, driven by a black man, but in the back sat an older, richer looking white couple in a suit and elegant dress. As we sped our shitbox down the hill behind them we were enveloped in a cloud of horrible smelling smoke that emanated from our left. As we passed below it the origin of the smoke was evident, a gigantic, sprawling shanty town unrolled before our eyes. It was enormous. Tin, straw, cardboard, reused construction material, all making houses the size of my kitchen in Durango. And the smoke. God the smoke poured out from there, from random fires in the alleys between the shacks and from the fields surrounding the town. And the desperation in the faces, whether I imagined it or not. All of this next to a highway where whites and others, but mainly whites, were driven in huge SUVs to their important meetings or social wine tasting, or who knows where …God, what a contrast, what a world.
An employee at the simulator center picked us all up the other night with the intent of hitting up the nightlife around here. On the drive out she started explaining some of the racial aspects, explaining who is allowed to hang out with who. She stated that whites don’t hang around with blacks for the most part, it’s a faux pas. I asked then how it will look when we all arrive at the club together, being that she is black. I thought she was about to throw me out of the car when we swerved and started slowing. Oh shit. “I am not a nigger, I am mixed, and don’t ever call me black again.” . Wow. The mood quickly changed back to light hearted and my awkwardness faded but the response left me puzzled, and I’m still confused…
The arrival...
Sunday, June 11th
Its been 5 days since I arrived in the Republic, though it honestly feels a bit longer. I arrived early Tuesday morning, completely exhausted, eyes bloodshot and clothes wrinkled to the contours of uncomfortable airline seats that I feebly tried sleeping on. The night before leaving I amassed just about 3 hours sleep, no problem though, I’ve got a 17 hour flight to catch up! WRONG. I think I slept about 2 hours. I did, however, manage to make all my South African row mates feel rather uncomfortable (as well as myself when I noticed their fidgeting) by watching ‘Brokeback Mountain’ on the Senegal to South Africa leg. Goodstuff.
The past week was spent learning all the eye watering, brain numbing, super benign intricacies of South African Air Law. Much of it is ‘similar’ to US regulations, but much of it is amazingly complicated for such a silly subject. There is also the differences in semantics that makes it amusing sometimes, frustrating most others. For example I spent 30 minutes trying to decipher how or why someone would ‘secrete’ themselves on an airplane. I had ideas as to how they would, but we wont jump into those. In any case my hypothesis proved wrong. To secrete yourself in South Africa it seems you only have to secretly hide yourself aboard an aircraft. I was a bit disappointed, I was hoping for the abstract and raunchy.
The town we are in currently is called Midrand. Its halfway between Johanesburg and Pretoria, in an area resembling something like a mix of central New Mexico, Nebraska and maybe other random parts of the US west to Midwest. Its not unlike any suburb in the US, having monotonous strip malls, car dealerships, pizza joints and overpasses zig-zagging everywhere. The most exciting wildlife I’ve seen so far has been a small rodent that cautiously eyes me every morning when I go outside to see what type of smoke dominates the current day. I did, however, see a sign on the double razor wired fence of an obviously paranoid white land owner’s estate that read “Caution: Bullfrogs”. I’m very interested in South African bullfrogs now.
As I mentioned above, there is always some acrid layer of smoke lingering over the area at all times. It changes though. Sometimes it smells like barbecued grass, other times burning tires, other times garbage. There is always a field burning somewhere close with no one around and no one that evidently cares. Before we leave the house in the morning we bet what flavor of smoke will invade our nostrils, such excitement.
The 3 other guys I share the house with here are all great. There is Bryce, from Ohio, Ed, from Idaho and Chris, from Texas. We all get along well and keep ourselves entertained well enough for the time being. After we pass our South African validation exams this week we plan to visit a nearby national park where Bryce can ride a lion. I’ll be sure to take pictures.
So, there it is, almost a week here and not too much to report. The fact that I am on the southern tip of the African continent and thousands of miles from home hasn’t sunk in just yet…I’m not looking forward to the day that it does.
Its been 5 days since I arrived in the Republic, though it honestly feels a bit longer. I arrived early Tuesday morning, completely exhausted, eyes bloodshot and clothes wrinkled to the contours of uncomfortable airline seats that I feebly tried sleeping on. The night before leaving I amassed just about 3 hours sleep, no problem though, I’ve got a 17 hour flight to catch up! WRONG. I think I slept about 2 hours. I did, however, manage to make all my South African row mates feel rather uncomfortable (as well as myself when I noticed their fidgeting) by watching ‘Brokeback Mountain’ on the Senegal to South Africa leg. Goodstuff.
The past week was spent learning all the eye watering, brain numbing, super benign intricacies of South African Air Law. Much of it is ‘similar’ to US regulations, but much of it is amazingly complicated for such a silly subject. There is also the differences in semantics that makes it amusing sometimes, frustrating most others. For example I spent 30 minutes trying to decipher how or why someone would ‘secrete’ themselves on an airplane. I had ideas as to how they would, but we wont jump into those. In any case my hypothesis proved wrong. To secrete yourself in South Africa it seems you only have to secretly hide yourself aboard an aircraft. I was a bit disappointed, I was hoping for the abstract and raunchy.
The town we are in currently is called Midrand. Its halfway between Johanesburg and Pretoria, in an area resembling something like a mix of central New Mexico, Nebraska and maybe other random parts of the US west to Midwest. Its not unlike any suburb in the US, having monotonous strip malls, car dealerships, pizza joints and overpasses zig-zagging everywhere. The most exciting wildlife I’ve seen so far has been a small rodent that cautiously eyes me every morning when I go outside to see what type of smoke dominates the current day. I did, however, see a sign on the double razor wired fence of an obviously paranoid white land owner’s estate that read “Caution: Bullfrogs”. I’m very interested in South African bullfrogs now.
As I mentioned above, there is always some acrid layer of smoke lingering over the area at all times. It changes though. Sometimes it smells like barbecued grass, other times burning tires, other times garbage. There is always a field burning somewhere close with no one around and no one that evidently cares. Before we leave the house in the morning we bet what flavor of smoke will invade our nostrils, such excitement.
The 3 other guys I share the house with here are all great. There is Bryce, from Ohio, Ed, from Idaho and Chris, from Texas. We all get along well and keep ourselves entertained well enough for the time being. After we pass our South African validation exams this week we plan to visit a nearby national park where Bryce can ride a lion. I’ll be sure to take pictures.
So, there it is, almost a week here and not too much to report. The fact that I am on the southern tip of the African continent and thousands of miles from home hasn’t sunk in just yet…I’m not looking forward to the day that it does.
Sunday, June 11, 2006
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