The Adventures of Not Lloyd and HS2

A mud caked, sickly, and emaciated puppy was found curled up beneath a bucket in CCF's Abeche compound about 2 weeks ago. In the 'big' scheme of things it was just a drop in the bucket...actually more like a single molecule of H20 in the bucket...but it still got our minds and hearts' attention. Elizabeth washed the whiny bag of uncoordinated and clumsy bones, and began nursing it back to health before the day I stopped by to say hi and met the wan looking thing.

One of the guards at the CCF compound had decided he needed a dog, so promptly stole an unbelievably young puppy from it's mother's care after only about 2 weeks of existence. We guess that about 2 days after this incident the guard decided he couldn't bear the feeble animals whining therefore placing it beneath the bucket in the sweltering African heat and leaving it to the inevitable. Unfortunately for Mr. Inevitable Betsey found it and cleaned it up, screaming at the guard for his profound negligence which evidently confused the hell out of him.

Fast forward now....The puppy now lives with us, is fat and is still clumsy, but is still alive. His name is Not Lloyd.





Around the same time of the canine discovery we were having a problem with a rodent infestation at our house here in Abeche. The rats were large and bold, casually strolling in to the living room while we would all be sitting around watching a movie or discussing the days events. Rat traps were bought in the market and placed strategically about the kitchen where the rats were making havoc on our food stores. After a couple of nights we finally scored a victory, catching one of the large buggers but that was the limit of our success. They continued to amble in and out of the house unconcerned with our presence. If they had opposable thumbs or more human like digits I'm sure that they would have given us the finger every time they made an entrance..."yeah, whatcha gonna do about et? Eh??" (of course its a well known fact that Chadian rats, could they speak, would speak with a Italian mobster accent). After an epic late night battle between Myriam, myself and a ill fated rat, one that we (the humans) were victorious in, and that the opposing party (the rat) ended smashed by a broom in the corner . Panting, yet feeling invigorated from the battle, Myriam and I sat back down to a movie, only to have our privacy invaded about 3.12 minutes later by another large rodent who ran in, looked at the blood on the carpet, looked at us and then stated "Ya killed Vinny ya bastaad! Youz gonna pay for dat I swear!!!!" and then continued on to the kitchen where he ripped open our flour bag. The next day we requested a cat. Enter Harold Sparks, II.

Harold Sparks, II, is an extremely young and vociferous individual, forever meowing about nothing. He also only stands about 4 inches high and weighs maybe 3/4 of a pound, by no means a threat to rats, and is most likely a potential and tempting morsel for the rats. Yet he and Not Lloyd have bonded to a degree that is rather unspeakable, so we cannot within due conscience give him up now. Poor HS2, you see, misses suckling on his mother’s nipples, and is constantly fantasizing about it, seeking anything that even remotely resembles a nipple for his oral fixation. So, free of charge, he treats fat little Not Lloyd to some simple pleasures...ahem...oral sex...about 20 times a day, making N. Lloyd either one of the most lucky, confused or gay dogs out there, depending on how you look at it. For his part, N. Lloyd has yet to retreat from ‘being serviced’ by the cat.





The Abeche zoo continues to grow in size daily. As of now we have on hand:
1. Not Lloyd (the dog)
2. Harold Sparks, II. (the ambiguously gay cat)
3. The monkey formerly known as Mary Ann--named for the Gilligan’s Island character (the monkey)
4. Pedro (the ancient desert tortoise)
5. Numerous unnamed lizards and toads (numerous unnamed lizards and toads)

And the names? Well the dog’s went something like this:

Me: What shall we call the dog?
Someone else: How about Lloyd?
Me: No, not Lloyd.
Someone else: Ok, then what?
Me: I don’t care, just not Lloyd.
PAUSE FOR DEEP THOUGHT
Me again: That’s it! Not Lloyd!
Someone else: What?
Me: Not Lloyd.
Them: Ok, got it, but what else then?
Me: Not Lloyd.
Them: Ok, ok, I understand, we will not name the dog Lloyd, any better ideas?
Me: Yes, Not Lloyd.

And the cat’s followed as follows:

Me: How bout the cat’s name?
Someone else: Harold Sparks the Second?
Me: Perfect.

Yep, think I need a vacation.